Sunday, February 14, 2010

The party last night was the most fun I've had in a while. No matter how much you tell yourself to grow up, no matter how much you come to terms with the fact that you are getting older there will always be that person inside you who wants to have fun, forces you to face your fears, and allows you to love someone else more than yourself. I always thought that Valentine's day was meant for the couples around me. Even when I was "allowed" to share this day with a significant other I couldn't enjoy it. Now I've learned that Valentine's day is meant for all the lovers in the world... and I LOVE my friends and family.

I use to not get along with my father. When I was young I resented him for being a smoker. I hated how my friends constantly complained about the smell of the house when he was at home. He also strived to be my friend rather than my father; I thought of my uncle as more of a father figure than my own dad. I began working with him and would often agree with my co-workers on how ridiculous my dad was being. As I've grown older my heart has begun to soften and now my dad will always have a special place in my heart. Even though he didn't have much to give I truly believe that he did the best with what he had. He's not perfect, but neither am I. You aren't either. We're always drawn towards perfection; however, it is impossible to attain it and an unrealistic goal for human beings.


  1. This blog made me laugh because I can feel myself reliving your refound relationship with your father. Once I had left for college I found I was closer to my own father than ever.

    Can you elaborate on your V-Day experience? Tell me more!

  2. Valentine's Day of '09 was absolutely horrific! I was dating this guy whom I only found attractive because he was a musician. We had only been dating for a month by last Valentine's day and he completely showered me in gifts! He was even preparing to buy me a violin (I REALLY wanted one at that time). This is important to note: I'm not a big fan of someone making a big deal about me. Lol. Now don't get me wrong! He is an unbelievably sweet guy, but I don't like being depended on so much. For the two months that we dated he suffocated me. He had a rough life growing up and whenever he and I would get into fights I would always be his reason for drinking.

    Now sometimes I have a few days in which I go into my own zone. I'm not totally social but not totally a recluse. I just do a lot of thinking and, when in group settings, don't talk too much. Valentine's day of '09 was one of those days and this guy at the time would NOT quit asking what was wrong with me. I told him that I was simply going through a phase and it would pass, but he wouldn't let it be. For the next couple of days after that he would not stop texting me about it. He kept asking if it was something he did even though I told him time and time again that it wasn't. Yes he had made me upset when he blamed me for his drinking, but that's no reason to completely shut him out.

    Anywho... it didn't end well and he still sends me texts when he's drunk sometimes that express his love for me. How's that for a Valentine's day?... well... more like Valentine's week. Haha!