Just when you think that you have everything figured out... life happens. Something jabs you in the side with what feels like a butter knife. That knife, while it seems to be a horrible punishment from karma or some other outside force, is what's going to save you. No one should walk through life trying to find meaning. Maybe life is just suppose to be lived; you can't live life always worrying about things that are completely out of your control or spend your time contemplating an answer to, most likely, insignificant coincidences. All that we can expect from ourselves is that we will make mistakes. That is the only thing we can count on each and every day.
Life doesn't last forever. Duh, right? The only thing most of us have in common is that we're all going to die. I'm pretty sure that someone famous said that, but I'm not sure who. It was probably Bob Dylan... and many of you who know me would assume that I'm the expert when it come's to Bob Dylan quotes. I've given up on trying to be an expert on anything. All you truly need is love... the Beatles wrote some form of that sentence.
While we're on the subject of love, how can one truly feel love for everyone in the world? I feel like I'm living a double life some days. I love my friends from high school. I would do anything for them as I am sure they would for me; however, I'm surrounded by people who are completely different from what I'm use to. And to tell you the truth I love them too. Do we have to make a choice as we grow up? Is it possible to keep close, or in contact at least, with everyone we love? As a future Special Education teacher I realize that I am going to have to take life more seriously and take care to the choices I make. I plan to clean up my facebook and make major adjustments to my lifestyle.
I feel so empty at this point. Right now I am only responsible for myself. I want someone who has needs that I can put above my own. I want someone to spend time with on a deeper lever, to have fun with, to love. Good things come to those who wait. I'm not rushing anything anymore. When I do it always puts me farther back.